"The One" is a Myth

After my last blog, I got a ton of feedback from people, and most of the feedback lead to good conversations around relationships and God’s intentions with them. Some questions within the conversations that arose were:

“How can I tell when I’ve found 'the one' of my list?"

“What do I do or say when I meet them that isn’t going to screw it up?”

“The relationship I’m in right now… I prayed on it, God didn’t take them away though, that means His approval right?”

My opinion? And take this with a grain of salt, cause you know— single, and never married but I believe I think that when you meet your purpose partner... if you’ve leaned in and done the work, I feel like you WILL KNOW because the connection to them will just feel different and unexplainable. How different? I don’t know, I feel like that would differ per person but I do know that God will tell you if you ask. I also think that singles should stop putting so much pressure on themselves to find “the one”, I don’t think that a "one” even exists. 

Hear me out before you crucify me - “But Lex, you just wrote a whole piece on purpose partners!” 

I know and I do believe in purpose partners but a lot of people never reach their purpose. And I don't believe that God only has one way for us to do it either. He often accounts for our errors, rejections, missteps, and disobedience. I believe that God will show you His choice for your life and then like the loving father He is... He lets you choose if you want it or not. (The Bible says He presented Eve, he didn’t force her and Adam to marry.) Likewise, I don’t think that God will always break up the wrong people. Why? There are several examples of relationships that were outside of God’s will and should have never happened in the Bible. If there was only one person for each of us we would all be messed up from the following relationship that again never should of happened (and some that never broke up)

“But like what if I break up with him and it was him?!”

 “What if I’m just being too picky?! I should give him one more chance, right? He's not my list but he has potential!"

“I can’t tell! I prayed and they are still here that’s a sign... right?!”

I have prayed way more than once — “God if he’s not mine, remove him from my life!” — and sure SOMETIMES He would, but more times than not I would wake up the next morning and dude would still be there chillin’ and I used to go “OH! Well, I guess he’s for me then! Thanks, God!”

I know better now. 

Turns out the whole time God was going “Lex, I don’t work that way. I’ve shown you multiple times this person is not it. I’ve prompted your spirit. I’ve shown you signs. I’ve given you ways out. You go back on your own. I've given you several examples in My word of what a Kingdom relationship is supposed to be like and I’ve given you all power and authority to LEAVE. Spend time with me and you will know! Ask me, and I will tell you. I will give you the knowledge if you will just still yourself to listen.”

God is a gentleman. He gives you a choice. By spending time with God to figure out who you are and your purpose you strengthen your conviction behind that whatever that choice is.

Please, TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF YOURSELVES and take the focus off “The One”. It's not about finding the one anyway, it's about finding God. “But Seek Ye first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33. 

God is not the author of confusion so if currently you're dating someone and you are confused, it's a clear sign from God to SLOW DOWN. If you end up breaking up with someone because you're trying to do right by God it won't be in vain. He’ll empower you to make the right choices but He most likely isn’t going to choose for you. He will tell you if that relationship is it and if that person is for you, how to handle them/the relationship properly, and redirect any missteps you've taken. IF YOU TAKE THE PAUSE TO SEEK AND THEN LISTEN. (Jeremiah 33:3; Deuteronomy 33:8)

So relax, stop stressing, quit daydreaming, and striving for a relationship with “the one”. Your purpose partner comes when you start focusing on the ONLY ONE because with Him you can’t screw it up. <3