We Work to Live; We Don't Live to Work

Allow me to introduce myself to some and reintroduce myself to others.

My name is Alexis, and I am a recovering workaholic.

As a former athlete, daughter of an educator, and having the grandmother I had growing up, it is only natural that I grew up to be strong-willed, competitive, and have strong desire to always do things “the right way.”

Those skills make up a large part of who I am and the success I’ve achieved; but they have also gotten me into trouble.

I am not proud to say this… but in my short career, I have already experienced burnout… a couple times.

Not having good boundaries is something that can quickly be exploited in the job world...I learned -- the hard way -- the ugly truth that comes from being the person that always says “yes.”

It can be hard to rewire the part of yourself that helped make you successful, but let this be a reminder to anyone that needs it -- people like myself: Work is not your life.

• Who you are as a person is not solely defined by what you do at work.

• The fondest memories in your life will most likely be the ones created outside the office.

• And the only people who get upset when you set a boundary are the ones you need to set boundaries for.
  

I am fortunate enough to have people in my life that will be quick to call me out when they see signs that my priorities aren't right, because yes, I still slip up.

Someone very recently had to remind me of these things, because I was once again starting to shift my self-worth to my work.

Signs of this for me are staying late, getting easily offended, missing texts/phone calls from family and friends, and spending weekends binge-watching TV or doom-scrolling to mentally or emotionally recover and get ready for the next week.

When I get that way, I have no one else to blame but myself for my decline in well-being. Its a easy and slippery slope, so I have to have people around me to call me out and remind me that: We don’t do this anymore.

Work is not my life but rather a part of it, and my value and self-worth are not tied to what I do at my 9–5. But instead comes from my faith (who God says I am, and how much I am loved);

“For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift — not from works, so that no one can boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time for us to do.” - Ephesians 2:8–10 (CSB)

“The Lord will open for you his abundant storehouse, the sky, to give your land rain in its season and to bless all the work of your hands.You will lend to many nations, but you will not borrow.The Lord will make you the head and not the tail; you will only move upward and never downward if you listen to the Lord your God’s commands I am giving you today and are careful to follow them.” - Deuteronomy 28:12–13 (CSB)

“For all those led by God’s Spirit are God’s sons.For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear. Instead, you received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, ‘Abba, Father!’ The Spirit himself testifies together with our spirit that we are God’s children, and if children, also heirs — heirs of God and coheirs with Christ…” - Romans 8:14–17 (CSB)

The value I have in my relationships: Date nights and memories with my “handsome” hubby, time spent with my family and my friends (making new ones and connecting with old ones), the relationships I’ve built with people in my community (people who support me and my happiness); Hell, even my cats -- because they think I’m awesome.

... Well, as long as I feed them.

Those are the things and relationships are what I should focus my time and energy on building. And at the end of the day, those are the things that are going to be the most rewarding to build.

Work is supposed to fund my life not be my life.

We work to live; we don't live to work.